The Importance of Suing Earnest(ly)!

My friend, who is a big fan of Seinfeld's, often mentions an episode in which one of the guys sues a coffeeshop because some hot coffee prepared by the shop burned him, while he was driving and drinking coffee at the same time. Now, says my friend, according to Seinfeld, it's the most natural thing to know that hot coffee, if spilt, would burn, and it's the consumer's duty to be careful while drinking any hot beverage. However, in the episode, the guy finally settles for a out of court settlement (without consulting, or even informring, his attorney) according to which he would be entitled to as much free Mocha Latte as he could consume for as long as wished. And my friend informs me that finally our hero ends up having an uncontrollable shaking of his limbs due to excessive coffee intake.

Now, this was a sitcom, and my friend mentions this to me because of my coffee addiction. I however, enjoy this story because in America, one can sue almost anyone for anything. And thus one sees all kinds of whacko and weird warning messages on all kinds of items.

I love it. It's finny to read all these messages. And what comforts me more than that is the feeling that I can sue any company or product for anything. In fact the other day, my landlord told me that in California, every house must have a bath tub; unfortunately I hate bath-tubs, and fortunately for me, my apartment has a shower instead. So I asked my landlord if I could sue him, and if he knew any good lawyer. Sadly for me, he informed me that where I lived was an apartment and NOT a house. Sad indeed!

The conseuquent depression was removed when I read a news item in CNN about two teenage girls who made some panckaces and cookies for their lonely neighbor and went to leave it at her doorsteps silently. And what follows seems possible in only an absurd drama. To quote CNN...

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"DURANGO, Colorado (AP) -- Two teenage girls who surprised their neighbors with homemade cookies late one night were ordered to pay nearly $900 in medical bills for a woman who says she was so startled that she had to go to the hospital.

Judge Doug Walker declined Thursday to award punitive damages, saying he did not believe the girls acted maliciously.

Taylor Ostergaard, 17, and Lindsey Jo Zellitti, 18, baked the chocolate chip and sugar cookies one night last July.

They made packages with a half-dozen cookies each and added large red or pink construction- paper hearts that carried the message, "Have a great night."

The notes were signed with their first initials: "Love, The T and L Club."
Then they set off to make their deliveries.

Wanita Renea Young, 49, said she was at her rural home south of Durango around 10:30 p.m. when she said saw "shadowy figures" outside the house banging repeatedly on her door.
She yelled, "Who's there?" but no one answered, and the figures ran away.

Frightened, she spent the night at her sister's home, then went to the hospital the next morning because she was still shaking and had an upset stomach.
The teenagers' families offered to pay Young's medical bills, but she declined and sued, saying their apologies were not sincere and were not offered in person.
The girls declined comment after the ruling. Taylor's mother said the girl "cried and cried."
"She felt she was being punished for doing something nice," Jill Ostergaard said.
Young said the teenagers showed "very poor judgment"
"The victory wasn't sweet," Young said. "I'm not gloating about it. I just hope the girls learned a lesson."
The teens said they did not answer when the woman called out because they wanted the treats to be a surprise."

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Believe me, this really comforts me. I hope that the girls will grow up to be totally cynical adults, who would never again think of doing anything good to anyone. That would be in line with what (if I remember correctly) Morgan Freeman mentions in Se7en: "In America, women are taught not to shout for 'help' when attacked by someone, because no one comes forward to help; they're instead taught to shout 'fire' because that helps.(sic)"

The CNN News item can be viewed at: http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/02/04/costly.cookies.ap/