The Complexity of Naming My Cat!

The place was the Book & Literature Chatroom, the land of the Enlightened and the Megalomaniacs, and the topic was serious: What should I call my cat? Keyser Soze, or Benicio Del Toro? Or something totally different?

Now, could I call my cat Keyser Soze? Possibly not! Unlike Soze, who goes on a rampage to avenge his enemies, my cat jumps on to my lap each time he sees a mouse! So, for a while, I thought maybe I should call him Benicio Del Toro, who portrayed a born-again conman in the movie, "21 Grams". But is my cat that saintly? If so, why would he steal food, sharpen his claws on my bed and scratch me when he gets squeezed in my sleep, primarily because he sleeps in my bed (though he apparently thinks the other way around!)?

Should I then name him, Salvatore "Toto" Riina? Could I possibly call him "Capo di Tutti Capi"? No! A cat, who gets scared by the movement of a mouse, can not be the Boss, forget his being "Boss of All Boses"! No Nada Niet!!

What about Giovanni Brisca, "The Beast"? To be honest, I won't mind; but calling a cat "Beast", that too one with so much self-respect and ego, no! I don't want my throat slit at sleep by my renegade cat!

Also, I must admit that, notwithstanding his bad mood and craziness, I like him! So I won't name him Pablo Escobar either, because -- to imagine my poor cat being shot dead while having lunch with his family by Special Forces -- is something I detaste.

Just when I was beginning to lose all my hopes of finding a suitable name, I threw the question open to the chatters and along came Winchy the faded jaded Cowboy from Texan, the Lone Star State.

He proposed that I call him Schroedinger. Not a bad idea, but Schroendinger was not a cat, to begin with; neither did I want a quantized half-dead cat.

It's surely a difficult task to name a cat. The problem is even more severe if you have to name a cat that you do not have!. So I decided not to name him, and just call him "The Cat" instead.
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Disclaimer: The above picture is NOT of my cat. Don Cervantes de Vito Escobar y Macondo, the world's first cat with a fondness for champagne would never stoop to the level of being with me and owning me!